From August 23-August 30 2004 Arun Gandhi will head a delegation to Jordan, Israel and Palestine to carry his grandfather's legacy of nonviolent resistance to the people of the Holy Land. This blog will be updated daily during the tour.
Click [here] to find the current time in Jerusalem.
Gandhi Tour of Israel & Palestine
Saturday, September 18, 2004
This reflection was written by Sahar Abusadra, one of the companions on the Gandhi tour:
Confusion
Since I came back last Thursday, September 9th, I am trying to blend with my real world, but with no luck. I don't think I can blend any more. My life has changed since I saw Jerusalem with my own eyes. I cannot see anything else.
At the end of my trip I went to onto Cairo, then to Athens, and then To Amsterdam. But it is as if everything is fake. No where and no city is good for me any more. Plus I feel now more than ever that I am very proud to be Palestinian. I am very proud of my people and their resilience.
But tonight I started to get my self back together, just to see if I could explain my feelings while I was there in our beautiful and holy Palestine.To tell the truth, I got really confused, whether to be angry or not. Mr. Gandhi was asking us not to get angry or to perform any violence. And the Israelis are asking us the same thing. But how?!!
Story after story after story, and after all of these years being away from my homeland, what did I come back to see?! I came back to see prisoners being taken way from their families. I came back to see the sight of peoples' homes that were demolished. I came back to the check points with people dying under the sun. I came back to farmers losing there farms. I came back to see the Palestinian children lacking one of the most fundamental human rights -- their right to education. I came back to watch the whole nation under siege.
And I don't know how to describe this, but I was unable to visit the home town of my parents and my grandparents, Gaza. I guess I will have to wait a little bit longer before I get the chance to compare my mother's and my father's stories about Gaza and the beaches of Gaza.
In the beginning I was trying to get use to the idea of being with the Israelis on the same street, eating with them in the same restaurants, and riding in cabs with Israeli drivers. Maybe I'd get used to it if I stayed in Jerusalem, maybe.
I did not lose a father or a mother or a child in this Conflict. I was sheltered from most of it. And now I don't know how these mothers, the ones who kept flashing the pictures of their loved ones in my face, exactly feel. I never walked in their shoes. Maybe I would hate the ones who did this to my child, or maybe not. I don't know.
Have I said I'm confused?
If you would have asked me before my trip if I would be able to live with the Israelis in the same city, I would have definitely answered NO. If you were to ask me now the same question after my visit, I would probably say YES. After all I saw, I would answer YES?!
I guess I'm really confused, or maybe peace is sneaking up on me.
PEACE.
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